Zadra, czyli jak nie do końca dostałam się do prasy feministycznej

W najnowszym numerze "Zadry" znalazł się mój komiks "Podzielony na czworo", który już wcześniej okazywałam na blogu i który z bloga sprzątnęłam właśnie na potrzeby ww. publikacji. "Mój komiks" jest określeniem nieco na wyrost - zostałam podpisana jako Marta Małkińska, komiks nazywa się "Owłosienie", last but not least - do wydrukowania go zostały użyte pliki, które przesłałam tylko i wyłącznie jako miniaturki do podglądu. Ten nieszczęsny zestaw nieco zepsuł mi spodziewaną chwilę wyrzutu endorfin na widok mojego dzieła na półce w Empiku, ale wyjaśniłyśmy sobie wszystko z redakcją. Tym wpisem sygnalizuję tylko, że nie oszalałam i nadal wiem, jak przygotować materiały do druku. A w "Zadrze" znajdziecie też Kasię Szaulińską i Sylwię Kaźmierczak. I inne rarytasy.

Tutaj jeszcze raz "Podzielony na czworo", jedyna słuszna wersja wraz z mozolnym tłumaczeniem na angielski.

1. Pubescence. Isn't the word itself somewhat repulsive?

2. Such a mysterious and arousing element of our bodies described by a term…

3. …That reminds one of biology lessons in primary school.

And we've already learned about human reprodction, right?

NO, no!

Ah well, unfortunately no time left to discuss it this semester.

4. I shaved my armpits this Xmas, as if Xmas were a kind of very fancy date, requiring a tip-top body.

5. And what if I wouldn't have done it?

Go away, all ye faithful. Olga's armpits remain unshaven. The manger of Bethlehem is empty!

6. And who's hair is that in my soup?

Olga…?

I know totally nothing of any hair.

7. Anyway. I shaved them. But then, hair started to grow back, 'cause that's the thing hair does.

Gross.

1. Ugly dark stubble piercing my skin.

Hey love, I'm taking your foa…

Ekhm.

3. Behold Venus of Willendorf, the Paleolithic personification of feminine power!

4. Why do you think of your body in such a manner? Why are natural elements seen as defects? Does this hair cause you any sort of physical discomfort? Is your fiancé's stubble disgusting to you? How about his armpits?

Well, not REALLY.

5. Then better think carefully about it. See you next time.

Yes. So I will.

6. I thought about it carefully and the culprit turned out to be the same as always:

The cultural image of woman in mass media, at your service.

7. How deep in my mind must lie the visual pattern, ststing that a woman's body is smooth and hairless if, in unconditioned reflex, I reach for a razor as soon as I see any trace of hair?

8. Must have a shave and eat brains.

1. I easily get rid of any other feminine bondage.

- Olga, what are we eating today?

- Whatever's not mouldy.

2. But everyone wants to be beautiful, socially and sexually attractive. And attractive woman is smooth and that's that!

Exactly.

3. And I don't even know how my armpits would look like being hairy, 'cause I shave them ever since I developed any hair there. And maybe they would happen to be beautiful?

4. I start feeling both sorry and spiteful.

You're safe now.

Phew.

5. Keeping my experiments secret was never a trait of my character.

I've decided not to shave my armpits. Fun fact: you can do nothing to stop me.

- That's sick. - Not hygienic. - Nothing to be proud of. - Yuck. - Don't you think of turning that into comic. - Maybe you will consider changing your name after marriage?

Voices of my family crushed by the size of my tragic idea

6. The only person that doesn't run away screaming is my fiancé, who is a brutal and exhibitionistic artist himself.

- I'll take some nice pictures of you for your blog.

7. I have the impresion that getting Brazilian waxing and making a comic about it would be easier to swallow, being connected to sex. And sex is an area so shamelessly exploited everywhere, in every advertisement, that its intimate aspect becomes transparent.

Armpit's, on the other hand, are much less sellable.

1. Everyday we see naked and half-naked bodies, or rather the idea of them, digitally modified, purified of all imperfections.

2. Erased: stretch marks, body hair, cellulite, wrinkles, breasts sagging due to their weight.

3. Showing your naked body is no longer exhibitionism…

4. … because the natural body is now taboo. You won't see it in public space, you're ashamed to show it to your partner.

5. Of course, I'm not naïve. I don't dream of getting furry, dirty, unkempt, pretending to be a happy savage.

6. I, myself, am unwilling to go out without my nose being properly powdered. But I want to decide myself about what I find repulsive and if I decide to shave again, that's because I'm bored with the way my armpits look, just as I grow tired of eye shadow, and not because I'm afraid o find out what people might say.

PS. A pachy chwilowo golę, bo odkryłam, że latem robią się nieprzyjemnie mokre.